Madam Speaker, Are You on the Peel?

Hahaha! I can sense arms and daggers up in my humble direction!! Okay, stupid, I said "peel" NOT "pill"!!! The proverbial "Banana Peel" of the National Assembly. Settled? Hahaha!!!!

But this be no laughing matter, at all. For non-speakers of our unique parliament-speak, this is the metaphorical stepping on the slippery slopes in the leadership musical chairs in the Nigerian Legislature. A few senate presidents and a former house speaker have fallen off their exalted seats in controversial and scandal-fuelled circumstances. The term was actually coined by one of them!

The tortuous and torturing terrain of Nigerian politics should temper anyone in exalted position. In this business, it is intrigues and treachery all the way! Caution and cleanness be da armour of the wise...

Now, it seems our first-ever woman speaker of the federal house of representatives is in more trouble than meets the eye. The now-legendary bug and proverbial "contractgate" seems to have bitten her leadership. Sad part is, there is confusion and commotion everywhere. Facts and figures are being bundled, bandied, unbundled, re-bandied in dizzying bits and pieces! Amazing! There is a remarkable degree of sloppiness, dodginess and incompetence in the whole saga. We are at once amused and bemused. I am mightily mystified!

If this were a campaign season, the case be made. Fully. Now it is a new campaign, a different campaign. And the stakes are at once high, and.... NOT settled! Indeed, things are very very unsettled in the House.

Is Madam Speaker on da Banana Peel, or....

State Legislators: Partners in LOOT?

There is no question that the State Houses of Assembly (parliaments) were an abject failure during the last eight years of democracy. And that was not a swell advert for the majority party in the land, the PDP.

Example: If governors are now being arraigned for alleged looting of state treasuries, pray, where were the legislators? What was their primary function and duty? Who approved the budgets and who abandoned constitutional oversight?

Not that it was any better at the federal level, but the search be already afoot there. No escape, as there is enough clamour for answers and there is solid evidence that action will come.

Our thoughts must be with the hapless citizens in most states and local government areas in the land. They have been so badly served and short-changed that there must be urgent and FULL investigation. Governors and local government chairmen could not have unleashed such mindless looting and primitive gorging alone! Nah...

Let their accomplices be fished out and arraigned too.

For example: We hear an arraigned governor, who is a serving senator of the republic, averred that he actually siphoned several billions from his state's treasury to fund/support the failed Third Term Agenda of an opposition president! Can you beat that! Thereafter, he moved over to the ruling PDP, bundling his entire state cabinet, legislators and party hierarchy and political elite in tow! He was rewarded with a senatorial seat, alas!!

We are not unmindful of the extra immunity he thus enjoyed from the then-president, who gleefully paid a state visit to the rural and impoverished territory to proclaim the governor as a miracle worker, and the land as a place of admirable progress! The media was awash with this presidential endorsement and ruling party heist. The rest, as they say, be now history.

And, hallo-hallo, the history is unraveling...to tell the true story. Yes, for the real history, at last!

So, why will that governor be alone - in arraignment, in humiliation, and in gaol, if convicted??? Where are the technocrats? Where are the bureaucrats? Where are the colluding-contractors? Where, pray conscience, are the party chieftains and the state parliamentarians???

Who audited the state accounts? Did the anti-corruption agencies and other authorities get any hints, petitions and bank withdrawal alerts?

How come it took the new governor, a fellow party stalwart, to blow da whistle - with a media megaphone - before action followed???

May the other governors follow this gallant example! Fast. Double-fast.

We wait.

Official Websites & Freedom of Information Bill

It is very depressing to tour or browse official websites in this country. The quality and content demonstrate the contempt in which citizens, consumers and visitors - -not to mention researchers - are held!

In this era of servant-leadership and the much-trumpeted SERVICOM, things must now change. Fast!

The National Assembly must work on the Freedom of Information Bill right away, and give us the Act. Long overdue!

Once done, I hope before November, we shall be evaluating and commenting - even ranking - all Official Websites nationwide. Unique criteria. Innovative analysis. Dateline December.

Watch out.

For Madam Speaker: Where Are The Women???

Nigerian politics is at once exciting and exacting. It is treasury and treachery. When da trouble begins, it is from grumble to rumble to trample. If you don't reach for ya sledge-hammer in good time, you get slammed - for d fly turns bee, then da matter becomes a beehive. Oh, you will be so badly bruised and battered.....and buried, politically.

If you are clean, don't waste ya clearance ace. Get everyone and everything on ya side. Fast!

So, na wetin be all dis grammar, abeg? Okay, it's about The Right Honourable Mrs Patience Olubunmi Etteh, by the grace of God, Speaker of Nigeria's Federal House of Representatives. She is under siege! She seems to be game for all manner of slam and slamming. Yes!

And, yes also, if you can't stand da heat get out of da kitchen, right? Yes! Public office has its glue and glamour - it could be sleek or sticky, striking or stinking, alas! So, the whole gamut comes with da territory, willy-nilly. I gree.

My humble question is: Unlike the usual practice - almost template - all the traditional forces are not out in full for her defence, solicited or unsolicited! Strange. If na before, haba, there would have been all sorts of solidarity committees, holier-than-thou groups, ethnic jingoists, women activists, etc. firing on all cylinders...in her favour! Wetin dey happen? Answers, please.

Is the EFCC or ICPC a stumbling block? Or, is Madam not "shelling out"?

The PDP South-West seems to be either asleep or enjoying da bashing-show. If she were a man, will she be so abandoned? Or wasn't she their real choice?!

I thought as a "cross-breed and matrimony-bridge-builder" the people of Osun and Akwa Ibom plus Cross River would have come together for Madam Speaker. Shouldn't they?

Okay, where are Nigerian Women? Se una no go tie wrapa and warrior-gele come protect una sister, ba?

Well, we watch.

Did They Loot?

This whole question of loot and looting don't frighten Nigerians, you know. We just get da kick out of da damn thing! Go on the streets and ask. What do you get? My people will ask you back: You mean say dem tief, true-true? Na wa o, for this kontri! Hahaha!!!

And guess what? You are dead wrong if you ever think they don't bother. For, they will then go ahead to list all the neglected, ignored, abandoned, substandard, overrated, under-delivered and demonic projects, policies, issues, contracts, people and places.....!

Finally, they will punch you a parting breeze: God go catch dem, you go see! Plus including dem family...just wait. Hmm, you go see!

Some punch-line!

Is da time here?

Ministerial Screening

There is general disenchantment about the way the senate screened (some say never screened!) the president's nominees for ministerial appointment. Of course, the senator have been doing and saying everything to justify their actions and non-actions.

They agree that the blanket or blind screening done without indicative or specific portfolios was not the best. Then they proceed to aver that there is no constitutional requirement so to do! Very cheap shot.

May the distinguished senator please note that Servant-Leader Umaru Yar'Adua published his asset declaration form "without any constitutional requirement so to do" - and in total disregard of objections/opposition couched and disguised as "Official Advisory" by the bureaucracy!!! Now, many others are following suit - except the SENATORS!

By not requesting for portfolios, the Nigerian Senate short-changed the nation. They were simply crying more than the bereaved.

Poor job.

My Apologies

My absence was caused by problems at our ISP. I regret the inconvenience and blackout visited on all my readers and patrons.

Well, I am back!

I intend to do catch-up work in humble and token compensation.

Kindly bear with me.

Scheduled Debates

Lagos and Oyo States have led the way in public debates by gubernatorial candidates. Bravo! All other states should follow suit. Time is short.

While the electronic media hold the ace, it is worthy that the print media get creative by using their online presence to stream their own debates. This way, the products can be on-demand and remain archived on the web. While rebroadcasts are needed, the electronic media should upload their tapes for the same reasons/purposes: permanent access and record.

It is time also to take on the big one: presidential debates. The field is crowded no doubt, which is why we need to get them talking in structured settings soonest.

In this constitutional duty of the media, we need well-researched and highly pragmatic debates. We need accountability - those seeking reelection or higher office must defend their past. This is the time and place to hold them to full disclosure. What have they done with previous mandates. How can they defend the present state of affairs: e.g. how can we not treat catarrh or a torn tendon in Nigeria?!

Local media should take on the parliamentary candidates' debates as well as the numerous local government contestants, when the time comes. This must include village square and town hall debates nationwide. We are AFRICANS!

Bottom line: Let no one get to office without public scrutiny.

"Defending" da Constitution!

Nigeria's Supreme Court ruled that the federal government has no power, authority or right to withold, hoard or impound statutory revenues/allocations due and belonging to states and local governments (re - Lagos v FG case). The president proudly ignored the order, claiming he was defending the constitution!

An Abuja High Court ruled that INEC has no power or authority or right to disqualify or bar any political aspirant from the April general elections - such powers lie only with the courts. The commission proudly ignored the order, claiming it is defending the constitution!

Pray, which constitution? Hahaha.

Professor Maurice Iwu, the INEC chairman, is certainly matching his appointer and boss order for order, hubris for hubris, law-trampling for law-trampling! Except that a President Olusegun Obasanjo has an armada of sorts (forces, praise-singers, pretenders and resources) to shield him awhile. As for the professor, oh bells! Hope all members of the commission are part and parcel of that decision o! Hope? Well, the press has been speculating...

Building our democracy and the so-called learning process, constantly mouthed by our leaders, surely has its limits. Aren't we taking this proverbial handshake beyond the elbows? Haba.

The beauty is that our courts are primed and proper these days, and the nation has absolute confidence in the unflagging integrity of the Supreme Court of Nigeria.

Wait and see!

I'm Upbeat....on this Transition!

Perish the thought! Who says the forth-coming elections will not hold? Who thinks they can derail this long-awaited TRANSITION? Who? How? Where? What is it that surpasses the will and manifest destiny of THE PEOPLE? None. Period.

I'm upbeat. I'm positive. I'm possessed of the incurable optimism that holds true for all nations whose time has come. And come to stay. EIGHT YEARS of all that can possibly go wrong be now over. Over! Truly over.

Hey, beyond them spirit and conviction of positive goodness, just look around: What we see is magic! Institutional renewal. Independence of the "Branches of Government". Sharpening of the Media thru' Freedom of Information Bill. Pressure from the International Community. Fatigue of Blind-Followership. Vehement Renaissance at "Tiers of Government". Bold Questions. And the Hand of Retribution. Times!

So, dear doubter, relax! With the Parliament and the Supreme Court clearly on the side of due process and the rule of law, both our constitution and this fledging democracy it under-girds will come to no grief. Not anymore.

Then, the clincher: I see a sweep. I see some hand-in-glove journeys. Mutual. Joint and Glued. I see envy, mirrors and minds. I see hunger for legacy and the fear of posterity. Oh, dear seeker, I see laughter, alas! Yes.

Count the "Weeks to Freedom"! Yes, yes.

Hail Nigeria! Yes, yes....and yes.

Campaigns: Content & Style

At last, things are picking up. Yes. And, oh yes, I know the complaints: we need substance, not substandard electioneering! Manifestoes, not maligning of opponents. Canvassing, not cheap or creep condemning.

It's early days yet; so, patience. Things will soon start heating up - when they exhaust all dem crudity and expletives!

Soon, the media will goad them, guide them, grill and grind them. The wise better beware!

As for us, the people, our turn is nigh. Let's use this "power to choose" firmly and fairly. We must not fail again!! No.

Internet Power for Political Parties

Nigerian politics is of global concern. That is why donors generously support our elections, as they do our census and many other projects.

As the campaigns pick up this week, political parties must embrace the INTERNET as part of their multimedia outlets and interactive channels. This is useful both for internal communication and for external interactions.

For a start, they can promptly, cheaply, creatively and honourably engage both the Nigerian and African Diaspora, solicit interest and publicity in the global community, and cutely position our country for positive consideration by discerning investors. By being honest and courageous, they earn high marks for party and nation - the giant of Africa!

The feedback is equally prompt and invaluable, if well managed. This is one reason the present administrations nationwide should have truly embraced e-government and taken this oil-rich Nigeria out of the digital-dungeon, beyond the digital-defeat, all these EIGHT years of democratic governance!!!

Let the leap into cyber-campaign rev up with verve! Now.

Mr President, Sign the FOI Bill right away!

Finally, the National Assembly has passed the Freedom of Information, FOI, bill - after 4 years! Knowing this administration and its track record, we must still acknowledge the feat!!

Indeed, because of such huge skepticism, I advise that President Obasanjo signs the bill into law as soon as it lands his desk. There is no doubt that many are nervous about this new instrument in the hands of both the media and critical segments of civil society.

Well, as you lay ya bed may you sleep on it, ba? Let the crooked panic for aye! It is their due, it be their portion. Stay firm.

This law was long overdue. No openness, no anti-corruption! Period.

Caution To ALL

I am not pretending that things are normal in the land. I do not dismiss the basis of mistrust, distrust and disgust pervading the political terrain. Oh, I fully understand the basis for worry and apprehension in our homes and in our hearts. I do.

But I also know that no one, no matter how damned, daring or devious has ever succeeded in winning the last fight of the final battle for the soul of our country NIGERIA. Think back, dear Compatriots, and check. Nigeria go survive o...Nigeria go better!

We must plead and appeal to all gladiators, godfathers, gold-diggers, gadflies and gluttons for reason-above-treason. Love your country, lead with justice. Let it be said of us that we came, we served, we prospered - in soul, our spirit, and for nation. Materials be not all.

Despite all provocations - brazen and subtle - may we keep our nerves, our steel and Nigeria's soul. Indeed, because of such provocations, must we now resolve and so triumph!

My caution to us ALL this day is peace, perseverance and painstaking patience. It's our duty and our pronounced dignity as a nation. The future is bright and assured. Yes. Believe.

May 29 be round the corner! Be glad.

INEC on the WEB

The Independent National Electoral Commission, INEC, has an inadequate presence on the world wide web. The Internet is too powerful, to important and too helpful to be underused or ignored. Not in the 21st century. This needs to be corrected right away!

Here are some thoughts:

1) Full official info about Nigeria should be given, including geography, demography, religion, economy, foreign policy, etc
2) Present political state of the nation, including data on old and new parties
3) Full details of all the registered political parties, their candidates for various offices, pictures, manifestoes, full contacts, etc
4) Summarised details of the registration exercise and the critical voter education info for 2007 Elections
5) Gender-support Action
6) Youth mobilisation Agenda
7) Multimedia Networking, including the Nigerian Blogging Community, as is now the trend worldwide (INEC needs to accredit credible Bloggers for the elections promptly).
8) All legislations governing and guidelines shaping the elections and the electoral process
9) Full info on INEC and its offices nationwide
10) Qualitative INEC Publications and user-friendly eDocuments

It is time for time for the Chairman's Office to properly engage the Nigerian Public and get the VOTERS on the commission's side! Is there an INEC Press Office up to the task?

Get to work, folks, time is short!
Technorati Profile

Niger Delta: To Whom It May Concern!

CNN has just aired a Pulitzer-grade exclusive on the oil-rich Niger Delta region which must be as chilling as it is instructive. It is a timely and clear call to conscience.

We must ask all presidential candidates to get a tape of this report for dispassionate analysis and contemplation for compact-building. We ask same of all our South-South Governments, as well as the home offices of all the multinationals operating in that region. It is time for a global response to the crises in the oil fields and the looming dangers they unquestionably promise the world. We must all study this tape!

Let the Nigerian Media rise up to this challenge...in this election year.

And for ultimate corroboration, we ask the BBC, ITV, ABC, CCTV and CBS to get on board this very global issue as well. It will help cage the politicians on all sides, and, more importantly, help galvanise public opinion and catalyze civil society & shareholders' actions worldwide.

We must pray that DW TV will help the German Chancellor to better appreciate her urgent and decisive intervention, through both the G8 and EU instrumentality, by conducting independent exclusives like CNN's. With Germany's commendable role in bringing the peaceful UN-assist 2006 elections to the Democratic Republic of Congo, and the DRC's subsisting crises over its rich natural resources, the media house has its job well cut out for it! Time is short.

Thank you, Jeff: That was some daring, I tell ya!

The EFCC "Name & Shame" List

The 137-strong list of "investigated" and "indicted" political gladiators put out by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC, was a bombshell of sorts. The BBC reported it as name and shame while highlighting Vice President Atiku Abubakar's presence on the infamous list.

Not surprisingly there is an uproar. There will be more. And it will be messy.

My worry is that the commission is asking the world to take its word for it! No way! Let them do the right and proper thing: put facts & figures behind the charges. That way, we can exercise our full discretion and wait for further action.

My advice is that the presidency should stay completely out of this. The EFCC doesn't need any megaphone. Let Nuhu Ribadu take his case to the COURTS. So should those who fell aggrieved.

Meanwhile, the political parties need to honour this list with due process and integrity. We in the public domain, especially through the independent media, must insist on hearing all sides of the story. Yes.

We are the voters!

Campaigns: What Content, What Substance?

Enough of people-bashing, mob-frenzy politics and politicking! Let the content be out, and real substance subsist. This be the season of ideas, the reason for change. Period.

Considering that we've had elections? in 1999 and 2003!?, it is expected that our electioneering efforts this time will be robust and will resonate with Nigerian voters. My informal survey shows that our people are fed up with this whole politics of bitterness, acrimony and scare-mongering. And this is the colour so far! Do these guys think they will be voted in without us knowing what they stand for, or merely on the sentiments of disappointment and disillusion with extant state of affairs? Do they think abusing the ruling parties is enough to get them elected???

Where are the options, where are the alternatives? Not too late, but now pretty urgent.

My take: Political parties should publish their manifestoes in local languages and in multimedia. Candidates should publish their Compacts plus Action Plans in same manner. Take the SEVEN most critical areas of concern and articulate a budget-based response, then challenge all your opponents to do same - for a proper debate.

The media should summon the courage and patriotism to call all wayward contestants to order, or promptly and comprehensively BLACKLIST them!

Enough of these tendentious jokes and roller coaster jokers.

Our Foreign Missions

As we prepare for change, and I mean sea change, come May 29, it is time to talk about our foreign representation in the new millennium. We have seen a barrage of articles, and press reports about the state of our foreign service, starting with its very unedifying headquarters in Abuja (Not very impressive, is it?). And the news is bad! Pity.

Anyone who studied or had serious business abroad will know the huge disservice that most of our missions have done to both nation and nationals over the decades. But we must move on. Many of the dramatis personae have either moved or were moved on, already. The past be now gone, let's move on.

Our foreign service needs to be totally overhauled, revamped and restructured. We need the very best in all respects, and must pay for it. Nigeria cannot and must not be second rate DIPLOMATICALLY, nor can we load the place with mere bureaucrats. It should be dynamic, multidisciplinary, multisectoral, and fully ICT-compliant. We need balance in demography and geography as well. Plus a solid LINK between the Home and Foreign services.

But most of all, we need PATRIOTS not opportunists and selfish public hands or political fronts for the ruling/thieving elite! We must make our postings to serve and honour our country. Yes.

Finally, I think it is good to have career and specialist officers as well as non-careerists. It must be possible to move readily between home and foreign services for the right calibres and cadres of personnel. The previous dichotomy was unduly restrictive. We need well rounded people in all our services, including the armed services. To further strengthen them, secondments and work placements to the private and NGO/CSO sectors will be absolutely crucial. That way, ALL our missions will better serve the legion of travellers, officials, students, workers and crusaders who need their attention around the globe. No more no less, please.

Our new parliament must see to this. It is a new and ruthlessly competitive world out there!

Pain of our Sports

Let's congratulate Congo Brazzaville for winning their very first African Youth Championship in Football against a lacklustre Nigerian team, who are the defending champions! Bravo to the Congolese Red Devils!! The Nigerian delegation should join their host-brethren in celebrations: Congo deserved the win.

If it is any consolation, the Nigerian Flying Eagles have however earned their ticket for the FIFA World Youth Championship, Canada 2007.

For my country, what we saw in Congo is a disgrace and betrayal of our 140million hope in junior soccer! We have far better young legs than the FA sent to the tournament. We certainly have better and smarter materials than the joke which the managers represent. Pity.

Nigerians don't mind losing; but doing so with our Best Eleven is a task that must be done.

This team, warts and all, must be disbanded. Berti Vogts should help put one together right away, and hand it over to a new foreign coach. After May, we must look at Nigerian SPORTS again. This country deserve more and better than the extant convulsion and debasement of our national heritage, our national pride.

MTN or Celtel or Dangote or UBA or Zenith or Zenon or NBL should proudly pick the tabs.

Or NNPC or NICON or Transcorp or...